The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born. The thing is… Yes I have made the mistake of suggesting and requesting and even begging for any intimacy.. makes me feel like a fool. I appreciate the support. Not the fancy degrees like Art History etc. I’m just scared of the answer he might give me, if any. It’s been only a year and a half of marriage but I’ve let this lack of romance sink deep into our relationship already. I invite him into my world… he invites me into his. And since it’s been going on a while, I feel so alienated – and my husband does too in a way. We take care of our 3 yr old Grandson often and have a carseat for him in our car–I used to be the one who put him in but he’ gotten to heavy so my husband has started doing it. I know that takes courage and I admire that. I used to think everything would be better if we were still having sex. So, don’t just “look” at Laura’s books, consume them, assimilate them, and incorporate her suggestions into your life. I don’t think anyone finds a 10 out of 10 perfect match and there are things I wish I could change about my wife but I accept her being a 7 out of 10 because I want to be with her regardless, but if feels like my wife is never able to accept my faults as a 7 out of 10 and is trying to turn me into a 10 out of 10. I can remember feeling the way you do now in my marriage too, and feeling hopeless that my husband would ever get that I needed that. I identify with a lot of the women posting here, and particularly with Jessica T, even down to the number of children (4) and Holly. Sitting next to him on the couch I wait for anything. Oh wow, you took the words right out of my mouth, infact I could not have said it better. I feel that really I am better to separate from him…. If the energies shift and he ‘comes around’, then great! Now, he wants to spend time with me so much that he’ll snuggle up next to me while I’m working on the sofa. There are times where I have tried to talk after begging to kiss or make love and he turns it into a big attack on things that are not great about me. I did do my discovery call, but cant afford coaching although i would love to have it, NB, Sounds like you’re making good progress over there. After 8 weeks of surrendering, my life has changed, I’m more relaxed and a better person – to myself, my children and my husband. I think you should have told her, in addition to doing some reading of your books, to start getting smart about her family finances. I feel heartbroken, lonely, undesirable and overwhelmed. I’ll show you how in my upcoming Introductory Course on the 6 Intimacy Skills. My husband has told me flat out that he is not attracted to me anymore. I only needed him for occasional, mostly selfish sex, & money. I’ve found your post really useful! Hearts, Jenn, I’ve been with my husband for 14 years now I have three beautiful children but we can’t seem to communicate to tell each other how’re really feeling we don’t have sex anymore I tried and tried and tried to get him to there’s no affection I just don’t know what to do anymore he doesn’t even sleep in our bed I feel so lonely so rejected I cry all the time I think I even cried myself to sleep last night I don’t know what to do I just want some love and attention is that too much to ask I don’t know if it’s because he’s not attracted to me anymore or what’s going on I just wish I knew how to talk to him about it feel like giving up but I know I can’t because I can’t stay in this marriage just for him I have 3 kids to think about it’s really hard and lonely and it hurts so much. But HE expects not to have to make any effort in the husband role. In some weird way, I feel like he refuses to hug, kiss or just show affection in any way. I won't allow myself to gain one pound now. “Thankfully” he responded. You two are not working as a team—whether that’s your fault, hers or both of yours, I … I truly hope Chasten reads this. You must be exhausted. All kidding aside, if Pete is going to kick Chasten to the curb, he's got to be careful with the timing. LeaveHimAloneYouViciousQueens!!! It seems the bad experiences we’ve had where we argued like teenagers and IVe over acted has ruiNed any future attempts at intimacy. He betrayed and lied, he says it’s dead it was a mistake but it was not one time!The women were nasty needy lonely, and used him . Great question, Carla! It is funny how the mind goes where the mind thinks. . Beth, I’m sorry to hear your marriage is feeling so lonely! I invite you to check out my new TV series, Empowered Wives, at https://goo.gl/iPPQZG. Ouch. Let your Maltese wang ram free and find the right man. As the same w everyone else everything was great in the beginning. So it was shocking to find out that the man of my dreams returned with the Connection Framework including practicing the 6 Intimacy Skills. I have slowly tried to build my esteem and confidence back, but all it does is push him further away, its almost like he doesn’t like to see me happy or doing things with my life or having enjoyments and to be honest I really find it hard to do those frivolous fun things when things are how they are or when I feel he might be insecure/jealous/controlling(don’t do that activity, I don’t want you to-do I respect him and comply or what?) racist, homophobic, misogynistic, under the cloak of anonymity. You are sure a Pollyanna aren’t you? He's dumped R379 . After my babies I made a point to try and lose the baby weight right away in hopes her give one and nothing. As of today, November 4, 2017, I would like to tell you that YOU and YOUR advice helped ME to CHANGE and SAVE my marriage. I love your wholehearted commitment to practicing the Skills to save your marriage. You act knowledgeable. Reality is that even in IN Chasten was a 3 on his best day. I seriously think he appreciates me less than I appreciate him. Why do we have to turn a blind eye to his BS and respect someone who isn’t respectful nor responsible. My husband is now only home 2 days a week. Hi, well my wife has filed for divorce we each have lawyers, she said that she does not love me anymore, she has moved out to a townhouse about 2 blocks away we have a 10year old son. But got discouraged because he was giving me the cold shoulder and ignoring me, After 16 years of from little to absolute no affection or intimacy and unhappiness. Clearly he is not paying enough attention or placing enough value on doing this right and now I’m nervous about letting him go somewhere (by car) without me there to check. Beth didn’t say she wants to end her marriage. I felt emotionally abused, alone, and so isolated. I know my situation isn’t exactly like yours but I feel some of the things you say. I will try it. I love him and being with him but it feels like he is my friend. But RIDING on the train, blowing bubbles and sipping lemonade with my girlfriends brought all the good stuff back. If not, you’ll find it very valuable. I feel like he’s either cheating on me or has cheated on me. The weight gain wasn't planned, but there is no indication Casten and Pete are at major odds beyond the usual spats an average, committed, married couple may have. His job is to look presentable, but not steal focus, and entertain the politicians and dignitaries wives while the men discuss business. Once I received those tools, I became empowered to have the playful, passionate marriage I have today. In a good way. This concept has been called a "way to organize sexual relationships and gender and sexual identity". No hidden sex monster there, just a boring fatty with a pasty face. Is there any hope for me?. Jen, I love your openness and willingness, especially to show respect and receive graciously. Episode 14, “Bonnie N.,” is specifically about how to become more intimate. I always dress lovey, have a wonderful personality but now im always quiet and thoughtful. But we do not make love. Now i try to compromise and wont ask for affection until I really need it about once a month and even then he refuses and it ends in an argument. He's totally inappropriate for a man of Pete's career ambitions and the environment he is in. He says he needs me to literally remind or ask him for attention, I tell him I want him to want to do it and he says he does but he gets too focused on one thing due to ADD and needs the reminder. Every now and then I think there could be someone out there with the same love language who could fulfill my need but I would rather separate or divorce before cheating on him. Thanks for your time. It’s literally just the affection lacking. Pete and Anderson Cooper would be a cute power couple. If I do try to talk to him I feel like I am just complaining because he becomes angry with me. Most men are attracted to the carefree, happy, loving girl they met. That would give you the detailed steps to having more affection in your marriage. I don’t think my marriage is failing but it does get stressful at times. Stop judging me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes no sense to me. My trust is broken, i feel like i just exist here. Hi Laura. In a nutshell! He says I’m going to eat my words. I left after16 years…too hard to continue the toxic cycle. And then if you start to care for yourself and do things you enjoy so that you feel happy and fulfilled, instead of tired and exhausted and resentful, everything will be ok. By the way ok is now one of my favourite words it makes you let go of the control reigns. They put me on meds that are known to cause weight gain and strictly told me no exercise other than walking as my body could not handle any strain. I constantly worked out & kept myself & my house spotless. So happy to hear you’re feeling inspired and empowered! So what if a few extra pigs in a blanket to get through a cocktail party. Anita it’s like I wrote this myself .. I’m 30 years in ..My husband would literally do anything for me but hug or kiss me until prompted .. and sex well it’s been a year and I don’t think he even knows that .. ugh ..he’s a great guy but it’s so frustrating.. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon a couple months ago and am having to get back on the wagon just this past week and I must say in just that short amount of time I can already see our relationship getting back on track again. I really do not feel like I can continue in this relationship but he won’t set me free. No one thinks Pete wants a himbo, but DC is teeming with these high achieving professional gays who are more on Pete's mental wavelength than Chasten is. It makes me feel Like a piece of meat. He just seems clueless and to be honest I don’t feel wanted. There may be some small gatherings occurring involving some of Pete's colleagues that are basically work-related 'meet and greets'. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. His affection to me started declining the day we had our first daughter. My husband and I stayed together after his betrayal . I hear that you’re suffering from your husband’s demands, neglect and lack of affection after sacrificing your passion, with no acknowledgment from him. Pete himself is only a 5, but because of his position he could easily land an 8 as a boyfriend (even a 10 if he didn't mind a male whore). Here are the most common signs your husband is no longer attracted to you. He also hasn’t been an affectionate person from the beginning. He loves me. Why? It worked. They’ve worked for many thousands of women in 17 languages and 28 countries. I. l don’t know why either. Why not you? This is killing me, I really just want to give up, all hope is gone, I’m just wasting away at an early age… (sigh). Hello and thank you for registering. You too can get the affection, gratitude and happiness you deserve! Becoming an Instaho or dating one is not what is being talked about. What else could.you suggest Laura? . Chasten comes off as sexless to me. Do you look the same? He initiated sex, but without words or affection . But I don’t have that option now because I’m set to marry my fiancé in July! I can’t even crack a smile around him and I tell him he doesn’t make me smile at all. Only to be met with “I don’t know how to do that” “I’m tired” he does work massive hours. You can read a free chapter here: I have read so much on your site Laura, have watched videos and ordered books. I simply did not have the tools to have the kind of connection I craved–until I discovered the 6 Intimacy Skills. I beg. I hate to see anybody give up 5 minutes before the miracle, and I see a LOT of miracles around here when women like you get the Intimacy Skills and get some support from the SWEW community or a private coach or both. Natasha, Of course you need to be held and kissed and reassured at the end of the day–all women want that! . We used to have a great sexlife. Anonymous. We mutually agreed. Mary, I can see why you’re feeling discouraged. They two go together. Anyway, our inability to cooperate and engage peacefully has devastated everybody involved, including our children. He doesn’t see the problem. Physical attraction to your husband or wife is not the end all, be all. Not that I recall r103. This has always worked and we have never once had a disagreement about money. I really admire your desire to try to make your marriage work. And this is what makes my situation different. I’ve read what you have written and I feel how they all could work. It’s called How to Get Respect, Reconnect and Rev Up Your Love Life. He just somehow…forgot. I can’t wait for you to feel supported, adored and desired too. http://getcherished.com/. Begging for kisses and hugs feels lousy–even if he complies. With the 6 Intimacy Skills, I finally got the tools to have the affection and attention I’d always craved, along with my confidence. Here Are Some Suggestions to Help You Deal With Those Feelings. I am made to feel like I can’t have any friends and I don’t know where to turn. I’m so tired of begging for any attention. To clarify, I’m not suggesting that a man with depression not seek treatment. But the truth is, I was the only one who could change that–not my husband. I don’t want to ever be with anyone else but I can’t live like this. Honestly I don’t know what make me happy I’m so numb at times. I’m actually in a different boat. I will skip “the talk” tonight and hopefully forever. And he mocks me. Today i tried to make a sexual foreplay comment and totally got shot down. That's patronizing first of all (as is your language..."boys" JFC.) It really worked in my case.